If you've flown on a plane in the past 8 years (which you have), then you know what I'm talking about. Those people, who allegedly hate our way of life and want us to suffer, have succeeded. First (not chronologically), the shoe bomber. Yeah, he didn't blow up a plane with his shoes, but consider this. How many Americans have had to stop what they're doing, hunch their crippled, feeble backs over, and take off their shoes? And then walk barefoot right behind that guy with the terrible feet? (Those of you who know me know I'm talking about myself: terrible, awful feet.) It's a lot like death: absolutely everyone has to go through it, and we all look stupid and uncomfortable while it's happening. Next, the "drink bombers" or whatever we're calling them now. The people who tried to make a bomb out of liquids brought onto the plane in huge sports drinks bottles. They're the reason we can't bring on any liquids larger than 3 ounces. No drinks, no lotion, nothing.
How can we fight this new terrorist threat? Stop flying? Wear socks? Drive? Or we can turn these things around, by having airports offer free foot baths to everyone. You'd have to show up an extra hour early, but I might fly just to get a foot bath. Also: free drinks! Open bars at all airports. Imagine what the terrorists would think when their schemes only result in us engaging in more hedonistic pleasures they hate so much: alcohol, enjoying that foot bath way too much, gambling on which of us will be "randomly selected".
No comments:
Post a Comment