Forrest's sarcastic book reviews: "A Man in Full"

Welcome to the first of what I hope will be many sarcastic book reviews. Today I will review Tom Wolfe's A Man in Full. Some quick stats:

pages: 742
year release: 1998
believable characters: 0.4
entertainment value: 0.0

I would start this paragraph off with a spoiler alert, but the book has no plot. Tom Wolfe uses "reporting techniques" to write this entire novel, and it shows. Almost all of the first two hundred pages consist of endlessly detailed descriptions of people and their places. I didn't get much further than that, but in order to pass the course I was taking I read a quick summary. If you don't include all the crappy description, the book is about four pages long. It's as if Tom Wolfe watched ten minutes of "Days of our lives" and decided to base an 800-page colossus on it.

"But," you might argue, "detailed descriptions have some merit!" Yes, if you're describing interesting or beautiful things. But not a dingy Atlanta apartment, with the sniveling tenant inside, who has a nose like a harpsichord and boots to match. The ceiling fan spins like it's got somewhere to be, but the grit on the door speaks volumes about the ...

It goes on like that for the rest of the book, and makes about as much sense. Squeezed between the inane recitation is the crude outline of a plot. A wealthy, behind-the-times southern businessman has financial difficulties, and then goes crazy and joins a fringe religion. Various other characters are also described. In fact the whole book seems to have been written with Atlanta readers in mind, with a shout-out to every dull neighborhood between Chamblee (northeast of Atlanta, GA) and Oakland (just east of San Francisco, CA). But it seems like a successful strategy. Get all the rich white people who have lived in, or who have relatives from, Atlanta, to buy the book. "Moving to Atlanta? Here's a great book that (I'm told) is about Atlanta!" or "You've never been to my homeland, Atlanta? Here's a great book you have to read before you come!"

Worst. Book. Ever.

Until the next installment of of "Forrest's sarcastic book reviews." Any suggtions?