Friday, May 29, 2009

Nunchucks: Why are they illegal in CA?


I will neither confirm nor deny my possession of wooden nunchucks at my residence in California. But I will say this: they are about as dangerous as a baseball bat. Guns are legal in California. Knives, pitchforks, sharpened sticks are legal in California. But there is one weapon so amazing, so dangerous, so concealable, to which there is NO defense, that a state law is required to keep it under control. Even the Sansetsukon, which is just a pair of nunchucks with an extra nunchuck on one end, is legal in CA. But the almighty nunchuck is forbidden. Looking at the picture of Bruce Lee, though, sort of helps you imagine what these people were thinking. Keep in mind Bruce Lee is from California, and he can actually play ping pong with a pair of nunchucks. (I'm told that this video isn't real, so watch this one instead; he whips them out at 1:20)

Try and remember what it was like in the dark ages when you could legally tie two sticks together. You're leaving your friend's party at midnight, walking to your car, when a comical accent says behind you, "Giv-a me all you money!" You turn around, and a vaguely Asian mugger is brandishing nunchucks at you. You try and defend yourself using your gun, but as everyone knows, nunchucks repel bullets. Your knife is equally useless. They find your body the next morning, covered with nunchuck-shaped gashes.

This law is particularly ironic considering that, according to wikipedia, nunchucks were probably adapted as a weapon (from a farming tool) because of a ban on edged weapons. Irony, thy name is California Penal Code. Next they'll ban blunt objects longer than 3 feet. All trees will be burnt., all femurs broken.

By the way, if you haven't looked at the wiki page for the Sansetsukon, or the bruce lee video do so now. They're pretty cool.

7 comments:

  1. The protagonist of Suikoden 5 uses a Sansetsukon as a weapon.

    Years of RPG experience bestow much knowledge.

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  3. I feel like this must have shown up in Dynasty Warriors at some point too.

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  4. If the Sansetsukon is still legal, then all nunchaku owners should form a protest by tying small sticks to the end of their weapons and displaying their now legal Sansetsukon in a large public gathering.

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  5. Oh my god. I was doing some research for a report on whether or not nunchuku should be legal and found this. I was in a serious businesslike mood and I read your post. I laughed SO hard...
    Thank you for making my day. XD

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  6. It's my understanding that they're illegal because they're so dangerous... to the USER. It's easy to do some tourniquet-style action to your limbs when you're flipping it around. Not to mention the risk of infertility from those crotch-flips, but that falls under the heading of Darwin Award and we don't worry about that.

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  7. Ha ha... what about the Sansetsukon?

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